Once Upon A Time In Hollywood

    I went to the cinema today to see Once Upon A Time In Hollywood. It brought to mind a couple of people from my past. 

     First, it made me think of my father. He was of the opinion that movie critics were frauds. He couldn't believe that lousy films were frequently lauded by the guys writing reviews and surmised that they were being corrupted, one way or another. 

      Second, it reminded me of something my old Canadian friend Aron once said regarding the Britney Spears vehicle Crossroads. When I asked him what he thought of that rites of passage drama, his answer was succinct: 'It was a bad movie'. 

   For the heralded Once Upon A Time in Hollywood is a bad movie, at least if the purpose of a movie is to entertain the viewer. I lasted a tiresome hour before walking out. 

     There was a lot of talking about nothing in particular. Leonardo Di Caprio, who gave a hilarious turn in The Wolf of Wall Street, is wasted because the script isn't at all funny. The audience was silent until about 45  minutes in, when there were a few cheap laughs courtesy of some martial arts noises. 

     Brad Pitt plays a enigmatic man of few words. He roughs up Bruce Lee, runs errands for Di Caprio and makes eyes at girls. He's also partial to removing his shirt. There's a long scene involving him driving home to his trailer, where he takes a long time feeding his dog. An annoying soundtrack plays seemingly without respite.  

   I read a few reviews of this picture, including one in which the word 'masterpiece' had somehow found its way onto the page. My father would have been shaking his head in disbelief.